Jitters on the Toilet (1980)

 Jitters on the Toilet
Text by Dave Post / FFanzeen 1980 / 2023
Introduction © Robert Barry Francos / FFanzeen 2023

Image created by Dave Post, photographed by RBF

Ronnie and the Jitters were a fun band. I have written about them before, but this was submitted by a band member. The Jitters are Dave (bass, who wrote this ditty), Ronnie (vocals), Warren (sax), and Steve (drums).

This short piece of humor was published in FFanzeen, No. 6, dated Year-End 1981. – RBF, 2023

Arriving upon the club in our ’68 Dodge Coronet Wagon, the first business the Jitters attend to, even before checking out the stage and sound system, is a meticulous men’s room inspection (Steve, who takes special pride in this work, will sometimes even investigate the ladies’ room!). Each member of the band gives the room a fastidious examination right down to Ronnie, conducting the “white glove” test for dust and grime.

Warren inspects all the mirrors, if there are any left, for cleanliness and breakage, since his face rarely leaves them anyway. This being done, he compulsively checks out each and every urinal, toilet, tap (hot and cold), and specialty devices to see whether or not they function correctly, while my own job is to determine if there is enough paper towels and toilet paper for safely taking a “New Wave” shit.

Steve, a former plumber’s helper from Chicago, inspects all the pipes for leakage and proper drainage, and makes sure there are adequate waste receptacles on hand.

One thing we’ve invariably learned after a year’s tour of duty, is the uncanny comparison of clientele to the geographical locations of the clubs, whether it be Uptown, Downtown, Jersey, or the hinterlands. A perfect example of this is the men’s room at the Meadowbrook: a ritzy New Jersey “New Wave” club with a men’s room attendant (the ladies have a matron). As you wash your hands, he already has a towel in waiting, and will sell you your choice of cologne. This rest room also has a lounge with a couch, military etchings on a wall absent of graffiti, and ice in the urinals.

On the other hand, CBGB on the Bowery, well, no need to elaborate on the denizens of this area, or their bathrooms.

While not at all complete, we hope this guide will help ease the apprehension one feels when entering an unknown “New Wave” facility. So, in the immortal words of the Ramones, flush twice: “It’s a long way back to Germany.”

Image can be made larger by clicking on it.

A Lot O’ BLOTTO (1981)

© Robert Barry Francos / FFanzeen, 1981/2023
Images from the Internet unless indicated

My pal Dennis Concepcion, who turned me onto Blotto, came with me when I went to interview the group at a club on Long Island. Backstage was a weird mix of calm stillness and pandemonium. Their comments on past members is a bit harsh, in my opinion, but the band played on, and they were pretty much self-deprecating anyway, so I took that as the band’s “personality.” After the interview was over, but before they went onstage to play, two members whipped out a chess board and were deeply into it. On the other hand, being a smart ass, I mentioned to Cheese Blotto (d. 1999) that perhaps he should shave his head as he was noticeably balding. Not only did he do it right then and there with one of those tiny travel razors, Dennis documented it with photographic evidence. The pictures are included in the original article, and as far as I know, Cheese remains curds-less.

This interview was published in FFanzeen, No. 8, dated 1981. – RBF, 2023

Rear: Bowtie, Lee Harvey, Sarge
Front: Broadway, Cheese

A Lot O’ Blotto

Rock’n’roll. Blitz. New Romanticism. Punk. Psychedelic Revival. New Wave. Cabaret’n’roll?!

 

There appears to be a new trend in rock’n’roll which refused to take itself seriously a-toll. Out on the West Coast, there is a group called the Toons, who sing of “Roast Chicken Faces”; in New York City, there’s Junk Rock, who explain the virtues of being a “Sanitation Man.”; and from Albany, NY, there is the more popular leader of this movement, named Blotto.

 

Blotto came into prominence two years ago with the hit, “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard” [which still airs on the radio and weather reports every summer to this day – RBF, 2023], which was played ad nauseam in, in seemed, every club (though the outer boroughs still cheer when it comes up). That cut was off a four-song 12” EP which sold quite well for an independent label, titled Hello! My Name is Blotto, What’s Yours? At that time, the lineup was Broadway Blotto (Bill Polchinski; vocals/guitar), Bowtie Blotto (Paul Jossman; vocals/guitar), Blanche Blotto (Helena Binder; keyboards/vocals), Sergeant Blotto (Greg Haymes, d. 2019; vocals/percussion), Cheese Blotto (Keith Stephenson; bass), and Lee Harvey Blotto (Paul Rapp; drums).

 

The next year (that is, the last from now), a new EP hit the stands, sans Blanche, with Chevrolet Blotto taking over the keyboards, titled Across and Down. Although none of the songs reached the cult status of “Lifeguard,” the four songs on it were consistently good in their own, bizarre ways.

 

Now the present, and the release of a new record, this time a 7” 45.

 

There have been quite a few people who have been onto me because I think these guys are okay. Well, hell, they like what they’re doing: acting a bit irreverent and making damn asses of themselves. Sure, it’s not mainstream rock’n’roll-whatever, but the point is that they are not trying to claim they are. Nothing pretentious here, just a lot of fun.

 

What amazed me was the fact that they use their stage names all the time, even among themselves. Very weird.

 

As a rule, they are nice guys, but a bitch to interview. It was nearly impossible to get a straight answer from them. In fact, what follows, is all that was coherent of a ninety-minute interview.

 

Broadway Blotto: Our new single will be out soon. “When the Second Feature Starts” is on the A-side, and on the B-side is a song called “The B-side.”

 

FFanzeen: How original!
Broadway: Somebody had to do it!
Sergeant Blotto (Sarge): We figured it was better than running the same song backwards. Like Napoleon XIV [“They’re Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Ha” – Ed, 1981].

 

FFanzeen: Why a single instead of the usual EP?
Broadway: Why not?! It’s cheaper.
Sarge: Now we can play them in jukeboxes at diners, by the eclairs on the counters. Also, with a song like “B-Side,” you can’t put that on the back of an EP.
Broadway: And also, after we put out our last EP, we said, “We’re not putting out any more EPs. It’s either albums or a single.”

 

FFanzeen: Why not an album?
Lee Harvey Blotto: We wanted to do a single.
Broadway: You can’t put an album on a jukebox either.

 

FFanzeen: They used to have a shorter album on the jukebox. They were called EPs. [All laugh]
Lee Harvey: One’s like Frankie Valli.
Broadway: I like Frankie Valli. He’s my favorite.
Sarge: He was okay.
Lee Harvey: Was? Isn’t he still alive?

 

FFanzeen: That’s debatable. [That was meant career-wise; as of this writing, FV is still alive – RBF, 2023].
Sarge: I don’t know – check the list behind you. [Written on the wall of the club where the interview is taking place is a list of dead rock’n’rollers – Ed., 1981]
Broadway: You mean, “All the people who died, died?”
Sarge: Yeah. “All my friends, they died, died.”
Lee Harvey: Or the sequel, “People who lived.”
Broadway: We were going to put out a song, “People who Dine, Dine.”
Lee Harvey: Did you hear about that band playing, the Dead Lennon?

 

FFanzeen: Yeah, from Boston.
Lee Harvey: Well, they used to be on Lawrence Welk, didn’t they?
Broadway: Yes, until they died. Arrrggghhh.
Sarge: Then they decomposed.

 

FFanzeen: Did you ever notice that the music for the chorus of “People Who Died” is identical with “Red Hot”?
Broadway: Yeah [sings “Red Hot”:]. “My gal has died, died” [laughs]. Have you seen the video tape from “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard”? It was filmed at various shoe stores and lakes in Upstate New York.

 

FFanzeen: The song came out two years ago. Isn’t it a bit late now?
Broadway: Hey, we’re timely guys.
Lee Harvey: It’s kind of a statement because, like, Albany is two years behind everything and we were just noting the other day that Legs Diamond, the gangster, was shot in Albany two or three years after all the gangland slayings in Chicago and New York had taken place. People had already forgotten it and went on to new things, like baseball and other pastimes. So, that’s why our video tape is two years late. Plus, the fact that some guys came up and said, “Hey, we want to do a video tape of you guys and it won’t cost you anything,” and we said, “Well, now you’re talking.”
Sarge: You see, we don’t like to spend our money on video tapes and things like that. Every once in a while, we like to spend it on foolish little things – like food.
Broadway: Luxury items like that. So, is it true that all the street signs in New York (City) are color coordinated? My cousin told me that. In Queens, its white on blue, the Bronx, is blue on yellow, Manhattan’s black on yellow, Staten Island is black and blue –

 

[At this point, the discussion went on a long tangent on how the band found out about Lennon being shot while on their way to tape an “Uncle Floyd Show” and had to act zany. From there, it went to the imagined shooting of Queen Elizabeth and the shooting of the Pope, and two tourists from Buffalo, NY, where we pick it up.]

 

Broadway: It was on the tour plan: “Would you like the $1000 tour to Rome and you get to see all the monuments, etc., or would you like the $500 tour where you just see Rome from the bus, or would you like the $25 tour, where you get to see everything, but you have to get shot.”
Lee Harvey: “Well, let’s see – if I save up enough money in Buffalo doing piecework separating weenies from chickens –“

 

FFanzeen: Tours in the future?
Sarge: On August 24, we’re play the Garden –
Broadway: That’s planting the garden!

FFanzeen: Whatever happened to Blanche Blotto?
Broadway: What’s become of who?
Sarge: That’s old news. Why don’t you ask us what’s become of Chevy (Blotto)?

FFanzeen: Okay, what’s become of Chevy?
Sarge: Well, it’s all pretty strange. Two weeks ago, he dropped out to join the sink-hole worship cult down in Florida, and he’s living in a tent just outside that sink-hole.
Broadway: He’s a Chevrolet that wants to be at one with the Porches. Actually, his warranty ran out. We heard from [Ralph] Nader’s people and we had to recall him from the group.

FFanzeen: Who is replacing him?
Broadway: No one could replace Chevrolet Blotto.
Sarge: Now, we’re just the Blotto Quartet.
Broadway: Actually, Sarge is filling in on keyboard stuff, Lee Harvey is picking up the slack on the vocals, and business as usual.

FFanzeen: Why “Blotto”?
Broadway: Why notto? Well, if you play crossword puzzles – which I don’t – you find the words include “spiflicated” [not in my edition of Websters – Ed., 1981], six letters, beginning with “B,” fifth letter “T,” ending with “O” – with a “LOT” in the middle!

 

 

 

THE VIPERS Interview: The Pure Sound of Marac’n’Roll (1985)

© Robert Barry Francos / FFanzeen, 1985/2023
Images from the Internet unless indicated
https://www.facebook.com/The-Vipers-59760180529/

During the early 1980s, The Vipers were among the garage revival elite from New York, including the likes of The Mosquitoes, The Chesterfield Kings, The A-Bones, The Fuzztones, and The Tryfles. The each had their own niche, be it rockabilly, voodoobilly, or fandom. The Vipers leaned mor towards the pop spectrum of the garage sound.

This was originally published in FFanzeen No. 13, dated 1985. – RBF, 2023

The Vipers: The Pure Sound of Marac’n’Roll (1985)

Vipers. A name that sticks terror in your heart? Nah, not if you’re involved with the local revival of the ‘60s sound here in New York.

And what’s a better place to see and meet a Viper than in a cave? A CaveStomp! that is. For those uninformed, the Dive is a club where the psychedelic crowd meet, and every once in a while, Thursdays belong to the Vipers in what has become known as the CaveStomp!, where the elite get to their feet.

The Vipers are Jon Weiss (lead vox/saxophone/percussion), Paul Martin (lead guitar/vox), Graham May  (bass/vox), Pat Brown (drummer and possibly ex-governor of California), and David Mann (guitar/keyboard/harmonica/vox).

I had been trying to interview the band for a while now, but we never seemed to be at a convenient spot. Well, the first Thursday in September, before their return to the CaveStomp! at the Dive, I connected with Jon, Paul, and Graham.

(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

FFanzeen: The Dive gave you back your Thursday night.
Jon Weiss: They forced it back on us – by popular demand.
Paul  Martin: This time it’s only going to be four weeks. Every Thursday in August. In September, the album will be released. We produced the album, and Nadroj Wolrat helped us produce it.

FFanzeen: What’s the name of the album?
Jon: It’s called Outta the Nest!

FFanzeen: “Outta” is a popular –
Graham May: – Eastern drawl.
Jon: The Nest is the name of our studio where we rehearse and we do our four-tracks, so most things are conceived there.
Graham: That’s where we recorded our single [“Never Alone” b/w “Left Your Hold on Me,” on Midnight Records – RBF, 1985].
Paul: We also recorded “Nothing’s From Today” out on Bomp!’s Battle of the Garages, Vol. II there.

FFanzeen: Where do your recordings go from here, after Outta the Nest?
Jon: We have a  lot of new tunes we gotta do.
Paul: We want to do a second album right away. We already got the first song in the band and we will be on the road by October or November.
Jon: We’ll be on the road, playing other dives.

FFanzeen: Why doesn’t any of your recordings sound like you do live?
Paul: We use chintzy recording equipment. It doesn’t sound much like anything.

FFanzeen: It sound a lot pop-ier.
Jon: I think it’s because the conditions are a little more ideal in the studio. Also, live, we rip it up. We go a little too nutty; we get a little manic. Things get a little rougher than in the studio.
Paul: There’s more time for contemplation in the studio.
Graham: You can go over any part you don’t like in the studio.
Jon: They’ve yet to make a tape that can capture the true Vipers sound. It’ll always come out sounding a little more pop-ier until we do a live album. ‘Til then, it cannot be captured!

FFanzeen: You’ve sort of been lumped together with the psychedelic scene, but  I really don’t think you’re psychedelic at all.
Jon: I agree.
Graham: And garage, too.
Jon: I think we’re a garage band. I would like to be termed as a garage band. I think that’s truer.
Paul: More than a psych band.

FFanzeen: Think you’ll make it on a Nuggets 1995?
Jon: I think when we evolve, maybe we’ll end up a psychedelic band. [Laughs]

FFanzeen: The first time I saw you, I thought you sounded more like you were leaning towards a Dick Dale (d. 2019)  and the Del-Tones sound, than to, say, the Standells or Chocolate Watchband.
Paul: We do have a couple of Dick Dale-esque type numbers. We’re probably going to whip them out on the public after the album comes out.
Graham: We’re thinking of using a bit more saxophone-oriented instrumental-type songs, along with the hot numbers we’re doing.
Paul: Do you think we have those leanings?

FFanzeen: Not so much the surf sound, but towards that pop sound.
Jon: What kind of pop would you compare it to?

FFanzeen: I would say more toward (Paul Revere and) the Raiders, or the Monkees.
Jon: We put an emphasis on melody. That’s something that we do do. And yet, it’s very guitar-oriented.

FFanzeen: Not keyboard up front, like most psych bands.
Jon: That’s true. We’re a guitar band, professionally.
Paul: But some of our new stuff is gritty, and not just strictly pop. It’s getting a lot grittier now. Some of our older recordings – we did “Medication” and a couple of other tracks – they were more poppy sounding than what we’re doing now.
Jon: We’re all taking hormone shots. We have put up some pretty wimpy stuff, but as we’ve been around longer, we start to get more confident, and we actually start sacrificing melody for more emotion. A lot of times you can hide behind some pretty nice sounds, and they just sort of gloss over what you’re trying to say.
Paul: Or you try so hard getting it to perfection you never get to lash out.
Jon: That’s something Paul is really against. Like in rehearsal, I’ll say, “Let’s do it again and again,” and he’ll flip, ‘cause it can make it just too sterile; too nice. And now, as we get more confident, we do things on a much rougher scale.
Paul: It’s more comfortable getting hell-bend and going over the edge with it. Having a lot of fun and raunching it up. And it does have that real impact. If you know it well enough to pull it off well, but at the same time not having refined it by going over it note by note – it’s kind of neat to just get up on stage and just raunch out a few numbers.

FFanzeen: Yeah, I think you’re in that period of music that most people forget, between the Dick Dale guitar and the psychedelic Farfisa, which is still garage sounding. I call it maracas music. Most of the garage sound seems to lie in this period.
Jon: Marac’n’roll.
Graham: Like Davy Jones of the Monkees (d. 2012).
Jon: I think why that exists is that a lot of lead singers are front men and can’t play anything, and they need something up there. Like with Davy Jones, well that doesn’t need an explanation.

(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

FFanzeen: Well, he always had the tambourine for back-up!
Jon: You need something to play with.
Paul: It’s cute, anyway, seeing this furry little creature playing a tambourine on stage.
Jon: You see, when we stop doing these songs, they’re going to continue. It’s really good, because there are so many bands now, springing up in New York, that have no place to play. This place (the Dive) is cool; this place is real. It’s a place to work out your stuff. Look, here comes Pat Brown, or drummer! Sit down, Pat!

FFanzeen: I’m doing an interview of the band, of which you’re now part.
Jon: Pat’s different than most drummers.
Pat Brown: You might call me a team drummer.
Jon: He’s a primitive stick-and-stone man.

FFanzeen: What’s the most obscure song you guys do?
Pat: “Surprise Surprise” by the Loved Ones. 

FFanzeen: That’s with Gary Pig Gold, one of our occasional columnists.
Jon: Do you have the record?

FFanzeen: No, I don’t have that one. How about something easy now, like how did the band get started?
Paul: Pretty much out of apathy for anything else that’s going on. We wrote half a dozen songs and decided to put it together.
Jon: The fact is that all of us disliked all this music. We said, “Shit, someone’s got to do what we like.” We were all friends in the beginning anyhow; we all shared the same likings. It was the only way to go, since we all played music.

FFanzeen: Do you ever get any negative press because you do so many originals?
Paul: We get very little negative press.
Jon: Most of our press has been pretty good, the small  amount we’ve received. A lot of people seem to take our strong point as the fact that we’re songwriters. That’s the thing that sets us apart, that we do originals. That we write some pretty good ones.
Graham: We love to play old songs, though, too, so we generally give people who really want those old tunes a lot of that, too; so, it’s not that much of a negative response coming back to us.
Jon: But we’d be cheating ourselves out of a blast if we didn’t play our songs.

FFanzeen: There seems to be a contingent of people who belie that garage bands should be playing these more and more obscure songs.
Paul: If you’re not really into it that much, it’s hard to really get a hold of these things, and to research all of the material that does exist.

FFanzeen: That mentality –
Jon: I understand what you are saying. “First of all, there are very strict rules to be a garage band. Do not make innovations. Do not change the sound.  Go out of your way to get the right fuzz Vox and the right fuzz note setting. Go out of your way to get it no matter how much it costs.” The reason this gets so much bad press is because you have to have the money for the clothes, you have to have the money for the records, and for the instruments. But I think those boundaries are open enough to write just as good a song and to cover those songs, because they’re great, so there’s nothing wrong with it.
Graham: We wouldn’t be able to write them if we didn’t play them. We wouldn’t dare take an original song or an idea for a song and use it to our extremes without having been able to play so many covers exactly the way they were played.
Jon: You might say it’s almost fanatical, to really like something to that point, and a lot of the people who like the sound are  collectors. It’s the last thing that they own. This is the last sound that we own that hasn’t been screwed over by disco. It’s the last thing that has not been screwed up by the guy wearing a dress telling us to dance [Boy George – RBF, 2023]. This is something you can’t let go. We just won’t let it go. The people who like this sound, they get really pissed, and I don’t blame them, if the sound gets too blah. It’s not an exercise. It’s not difficult for us at all, what we do. Other bands seem contrived or seem to work too hard at being a ‘60s band, and that’s not true. It’s the most second-nature, natural thing to do. I do not think anyone who listens to this music resents original tunes. I think they resent tunes that are complete rip-offs, or else they just don’t compare. The only songs they know are the really good ones. And only the really, really good ones make it on the compilations, not the bad ones.

FFanzeen: It seems a lot of people play this game of” Let’s see who can play the most obscure tune.” Sort of like a competition.
Jon: That’s true. We don’t like that. But it’s not done with any malice.  It’s not done, like, “We’re in this club and you can’t join.” They just go in these, like, warehouses and search; and it’s a gas when you finally find something. Some of our best times on the road and stuff is to hit the local record shop, beat the guy silly, and go down to the basement and go through all their records.

FFanzeen: I like to go out on weekends to the suburbs and hit –
Paul: – Tag sales.
Jon: You get little old ladies with stacks that have been sitting in closets for years. Records and clothes. right, Pat? Looking for the perfect shirt?

FFanzeen: And you play music to support your habit, right?
Jon: And a few others.

FFanzeen: As far as collectors go, I’ve been, like, snubbed by a few of these people because, say, I didn’t know every Yardbirds song ever done. “You’re not worth talking to –“
Jon: Oh, man! That’s part of the whole  underlying attitude of this scene going on. People are, “What’s that?” “What’s that?” Passing cassettes around and stuff, but there’s  so much being resurfaced, there’s even less emphasis on that now. I think. Except for the hardcore people; the collectors.
Paul: With us, it’s a matter of sharing, ‘cause we can get up there and do it. DJs are like that, too. They like playing their collections for people.

FFanzeen: To me, collecting records is not paying $35 for an obscure single, it’s going to a garage sale and finding it for a dime. If  someone comes up to me and says, “I’ve got so-and-so by the Hurd,” and I ask “How much did you pay for it?” and he says “$35,” I say, who gives a  shit. Anyone can get it for that money.
Paul: Well, there’s different levels of being a collector, too. You go through that phase of practically having everything, and then you make a list of things you don’t have. Or if you have a double in your collection, you might trade it for something else. But that’s the upper echelon collector.

FFanzeen: But that’s business-like. I do it for fun.
Graham: It’s like, to be able to turn people on to a sound, of when there was a naivete in rock’n’roll, and stuff like that.
Jon: Yeah! Every once in a while, someone will send us a tape of good music. We don’t care if it’s on tape.

FFanzeen: I prefer vinyl because it melts down better to be shot straight into the arm of a true vinyl junkie!
Jon: We’re just enthusiasts.

(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

Jon continued to be an enthusiast. He took the CaveStomp! into the new century (I saw one at CBGBs with ? and the Mysterians, the Lyres, etc.), that brought out the newer garage bands, as well as those classic performers. Little Steven (of the E Street Band and now has a podcast) picked up the financial slack and put a large part of himself into the movement that, hopefully, will not die. And while the second Vipers album did not come out, and the band is gone into the ether, what they were striving for, hopefully survives.

THE FUZZTONES Interview: Leave Your Mind at Home (1985)

© Robert Barry Francos / FFanzeen, 1985/2023
Images from the Internet unless indicated
www.facebook.com/The-Fuzztones-275731423470

While hardcore was digging its claws into a Third Wave of Punk in the early 1980s, there was a concurrent movement of proto-punk influenced sounds called the garage revival that was also exploding. While hardcore became a Next Big Thing, the garage and psychedelic strands kind of petered out by the late ‘80s, and disappeared into the newer grunge sound out of Seattle. While it was in its prime, one of the major players in the New York garage/= scene was The Fuzztones.

This was originally published in FFanzeen No. 13, dated 1985. – RBF, 2023

The Fuzztones: Leave Your Mind at Home (1985)

It’s hard to classify The Fuzztones into a niche. Yes, I know that statement is a cliché, but for this band, it fits. The elements of the recipe that makes up The Fuzzone sound is a bizarre mixture of their tastes. Foremost is garage, with a wild psychedelic sound following close behind. Then there’s the tabs of surf, bubblegum, British Invasion, heavy metal (just a smidgen, really), and tied together with a string of humor.

I caught up with the band at soundcheck time at the Peppermint Lounge, the first weekend of December of 1984. Even there, with no one else around but girlfriends, friends, members of another fun band, The Cheepskates (and nice guys, too) who were opening for them, and Pep staff, and The Fuzztones, who were dressed mostly in black and surrounded by Vox equipment.

Though the whole band was present (including Elan Portnoy (lead guitar), Ira Elliot (drums), and they’re all neat guys, I decided to pick out lead singer Rudi Protrudi, and keyboardist and sometimes vocalist (not enough, though) Deb O’Nair to speak for this piece because (a) they formed the band, (b) they are the so-called leaders of the band, and (c) transcribing a tape with more than one voice of the same sex can drive one crazy!

So there we huddled in the lower dungeons of the dressing room, and began by talking about their previous band, Tina Peel. An argument can be started on why so many questions about this previous incarnation, as The Fuzztones are what’s now and Tina Peel is what’s was, but it’s time all the questions about TP were asked and done with.

So armed with a bunch of written questions by Nancy Foster (aka Nancy Neon) as well as a number of my own, I set out into the beginning…

Tina Peel at CBGB
(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

FFanzeen: You’re both from Pennsylvania?
Deb O’Nair: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

FFanzeen: When did you move up here?
Rudi Protrudi: ’76? No. ’79? I don’t remember.
Deb: Six years ago. Almost seven years ago.

FFanzeen: How did Tina Peel form?
Deb: Out of sheer frustration and boredom in Harrisburg.
Rudi: Harrisburg is, like, the most boring place you could ever imagine. And at that time there wasn’t even anything resembling rock’n’roll, let alone what we were doing. I mean, there wasn’t even any bands covering Bad Company. There was nothing.
Deb: Everything there was very disco-funk. The Commodores. And there was an off-shoot of all those people who were into, like, Pure Prairie League and The Eagles. There was no real rock’n’roll except for the occasional oldies nights.
Rudi: We were into the ’76 punk scene in New York. We used to come up in a car [170 miles between Harrisburg and CBGBs – RBF, 2023] and get totally fucked up out of our minds. We’d just run straight into CBGB’s and just tear it up all night. CBGB’s was really wild. You would never know that by going there now. We would never have any inkling of what an incredible rock’n’roll club it was. We must have seen every band that was cool.
Deb: We just wanted so bad to be part of that. My God!

FFanzeen: Was that before they move the stage (from the left side to the right)?
Rudi: I’d been there before that. But by the time we were really hanging out…we were coming up here about once a month. We’d just hang out and I got to know the people up here. I played with the Dead Boys at that time. I was this close to being their bass player before they got Jeff (Magnum). And when I got this close, I realized I just had to come up here. So we moved the whole band up here and played together for 4 years – before it slowly choked to death, I guess.
Deb: We were so excited in Pennsylvania; we had this band together that was unlike anything anyone there had ever encountered. We fashioned ourselves after, like, The Ramones, The Archies, some surf, and The Sex Pistols.
Rudi: Just kind of a conglomeration. It was kind of a statement people never really understood. Especially in New York, people never really understood what Tina Peel was about. Most of the people didn’t even understand the name. They’d always come up to Deb and say, “Are you Tina?” and “Are you related to David Peel?” And if they couldn’t get the name, they’d never understand the meaning behind the band. The last thing we put out, after we broke up, was a cassette of, like, X-rated songs [Extra Kicks – RBF, 1985] that immediately the press said, “Oh, this is about the singer’s organs!” It was just a compilation of stuff that we hadn’t released that happened to be dirty. We thought it would be funny. But no one ever understood the whole meaning behind the songs and why we did it. It was a statement as much about, basically, how everyone was cool. In New York, everybody was cool, so they had a leather jacket and a spike haircut. In Pennsylvania, everybody wore flannel shirts and had hair down to their asses. And they were really cool. Our thing was that we could take a punk beat, put in a bubblegum melody, sing about sex in three-part harmony, and have as much to do with The Archies as we did The Sex Pistols. We thought it was just a tongue-in-cheek way to tell everybody, “Nothing is cool! Everything is cool!”

FFanzeen: You put (a cover of) the Miamis’ “Wang It” 
Rudi: Yeah. I saw them do that when they opened for the Dolls at Max’s. And a couple of years later I ran into Jimmy (Wynbrandt) and asked him if I could have it. I went over to his house and he showed it to me, and I taught it to the band.
Deb: The whole thing is that we were very much like the Sic F*cks. But in a very homogenized pop way. All between-the-lines.
Rudi: See, another thing was that it was also about outrageousness. When someone looks like Sid Vicious and yells, “Chop, chop/Chop up your mother,” that pretty much what’s expected out of someone that looks like that. But when you Look like the Bay City Rollers and sing “Penis Between Us,” that’s outrage. And if you want to talk about real outrage, when we did “Exceptionto the Ruler” at Hurrahs, people really took offense. You can hear one guy on the tape, he came on stage to beat me up. What people don’t realize is that “Exception to the Ruler” was also a statement. It was written as an anti-macho rock star song. There were songs like “Big Ten Inch” by Aerosmith or “Squeeze My Lemon” by Led Zeppelin. Rock stars were always singing about how their cocks were so big. So, I thought, wouldn’t it be funny to write a song about a singer having a small one? And, of course, no one would ever do that because wouldn’t that blow their image? So I did. To add insult to injury, I put it to the tune of “Peter Gunn,” which I thought Was really clever. No one ever got any of this stuff. Eventually, the main reason we broke up was that it was so frustrating. The whole idea was we were supposed to have so much fun with it and everyone took it so seriously.

FFanzeen: The whole underground scene started as a backlash to the corporate seriousness of the established music situation.
Rudi: We had a hard time with that, too, because we got a manager and he tried to make us professional. And the more professional he made us, the less fun it was. That’s the whole reason we formed The Fuzztones, because we were no longer having fun with Tina Peel. The Fuzztones became sort of a side project. We started the band in 1980, and me and Deb were getting really tired of all the crap we were going through. People tried to make us into a New Wave band.
Deb: At the same time, we saw too many commercial bands getting too close to what we were doing in Tina Peel, and we thought, let’s stop because we don’t want to get commercial.

FFanzeen: The Fast?
Deb: Not the Fast. The Fast weren’t very much like us at all.
Rudi: Bands like the B-52s, and later on Toni Basil. Man, those people ripped us off left and right. We were before any of them. You listen to their music and, like, they were so close to us, except they didn’t sing about penises and blowing up poodles in microwaves [“Fifi Goes Pop, my favorite TP song” – RBF 1985/2023]. They sang about stuff that could go on the radio. Up until the time when we got a manager, we weren’t thinking of a record contract. We were just thinking, wouldn’t it be fun to get out and do this outrageous stuff. That’s why we got the Fuzztones together. And if you listen to the things we did release, it’s pretty evident that we were ‘60s inspired. Even “Fabian Lips” in ’76, when (Tina Peel) put that out. 
Deb: In ’76, we did a 4-song EP in Harrisburg, that had “Fabian Lips” on it, that was psychedelic.
Rudi: That was very psychedelic. Even back then we were doing it. Even the covers we covered: “Too Much to Dream (Electric Prunes), “Sometimes Good Guys Don’t Wear White” (Standells), “Hard Times” by the Centuries. We still do some of these songs in this band. We just like good rock’n’roll.

FFanzeen: You do mostly ‘60s-oriented stuff, but Rudi, I know that you really like some ‘50s stuff, like Jerry Lee Lewis.
Rudi: I like to do what I’m good at. It has to do with personality and taste. The rest of the band has pretty much of a varied taste. We all have one thing in common, and that’s the garage sound that we all like; love.
Deb: That’s true. Michael (Jay) is really into English R’n’B. He loves people like The Pretty Things. And Elan’s (Portnoy) really into Link Wray (d. 2005) and Dick Dale (d. 2019). Ira’s (Elliot)

Into the Beatles. I really dig the surf stuff and lots of ‘60s stuff. But this is one thing we have in common that works with all our musical styles. It makes us really unique. Because of all our styles, we don’t sound like we’re straight out of a garage single released in ’66. Some of our stuff does, but some of our stuff doesn’t, like “Ward 81” on the Rebel King compilation [on Sounds Interesting Records – RBF, 1985].
Rudi: I think that even when we do ‘60s covers, that we add something to them that’s different. And there’s a lot of press people who don’t feel that way. But there are a lot of people who are, like, 19 and 20, who weren’t around back then, and they don’t know what it really sounded like. I was there. And bands didn’t look like us or sound like us in the ‘60s. If anyone tells you they did, well, take it from me ‘cause I was playing back then and they didn’t.
Deb: Rudi had garage bands together when he was 15.
Rudi: In fact, I wrote “Penis Between Us” when I was 15. I have tapes of my first band, Rigor Mortis, doing it. “Fabian Lips” Was a different song when I was 15, when I wrote it. And a song we do now called “Brand New Man in a Brand New Suit” used to be a song from Rigor Mortis called “Crotch Rot.” And so it all turns around. And it all comes back because it’s rock’n’roll and rock’n’roll won’t die. There’s always gonna be hardcore fanatics, like us. It doesn’t matter if we were playing psychedelic/garage or bubblegum pop in Tina Peel, it’s still rock’n’roll. We’ll always be playing that, no matter what’s in style.

FFanzeen: Even the newer covers you did were by ‘60s garage-oriented bands, like the (Afrika) Korps and the Slickee Boys.
Rudi: Well, it’s rock’n’roll. We did “Jailbait Janet” (the Afrika Korps), “Gotta Tell Me Why” , “Heart On” (both by the Slickee Boys), and we did another that I don’t remember. We were inspired a lot by the Slickee Boys back then.
Deb: They’ve got quite a track record. Ken (Kim Kane, rhythm guitar of Slickee Boys – RBF, 1985) put out our first records on Daicoit Records. One side of the record is one label, Limp Records, and the other is Daicoit.
Rudi: That must be a first. I never heard of anybody else doing that.
Deb: They were a big influence on us. They’re real die-hards.

Fuzztones, Rudi, Irving Plaza
(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

FFanzeen: At what point did Tina Peel become The Fuzztones?
Rudi: At the same time Tina Peel was together in 1980, The Fuzztones formed. Originally it was just a fun project. It was all the same time as Tina Peel. We used to open for Tina Peel as The Fuzztones. Originally, we were called The Fabulous Fuzztones, ‘cause it was just a joke. But the thing is, we had so much fun with it, there was no reason to do Tina Peel anymore. As Deb and I got serious, the other guys weren’t. “Oh, who wants to do ‘60s stuff? We want to play in a band that does new music with synthesizers.” We kicked them all out. We must have gone through a million people before we got the guys we’re playing with now.
Deb: We did play a gig down in Washington D.C. doing Fuzztones material as Tina Peel ‘cause we weren’t that well known down there. But as The Fuzztones, the first time we ever played was at small Club 57 (on St. Mark’s Place). We had a party there. That was before the Cavern. Then we played the first psychedelic weekend at the Cavern. We played CB’s a couple of times.
Rudi: We spent the first two years of The Fuzztones playing little clubs and getting no money and no recognition whatsoever. No one wanted to hear about what we were doing. Then, after the Cavern, people started listening a little. But what really seemed to open people up was the Pep has a psychedelic show here. They had The Slickees, The Vipers, The Chesterfield Kings,, and Plan 9. Then people realized that there was something going on and they would listen to us. We were together longer than all of the bands that were in that thing, and no one heard of us, still. We went through paying our dues.

FFanzeen: How did you find the other Fuzztones?
Deb: Elan and Michael came from a band called The Monitors. They did a lot of R’n’B. They had seen us at the Cavern and remembered us. Then they saw an ad we put in The (Village) Voice, and Michael came to an audition.
Rudi: We thought he was really weird. This guy came down and he was dressed like a Flamin’ Groovie. Only weirder. He had a mod hat on. He was wearing a mod three-piece suit and granny-glasses. He looked like a Byrd. I couldn’t believe it. We started playing and he really fit. At that time, I had already broken up The Fuzztones after two years of total frustration. It wasn’t fun, we weren’t getting any money. We made about six bucks every time we played. I hung it up and I got into what I thought was going to be a rockabilly band, The Drive-Ins – ‘cause I used to see them and they were rockabilly, and then when I joined them, they started playing bullshit – which is how I met Ira, our current drummer. All of a sudden, Michael got a hold of us and The Fuzztones sounded greet. I had thought that maybe I should get another guitar player and he brought Elan down. It was like a dream come true. What I always wanted The Fuzztones to sound like. Meanwhile, I had made a commitment to the Drive-Ins. So, the Fuzztones perfumed and I continued to play with The Drive-Ins. Me and Ira got pretty tight. I love the way he plays the drums. I stole him from The Drive-Ins; broke that band up. They made a pitiful attempt to get back together without us, but that was it – so we broke up The Drive-Ins and now we’re The Fuzztones.

FFanzeen: How much influence did Music Machine have on you?
Rudi: Not nearly as much as you would think, just because I wear a black glove. Visually, I thought they were just the coolest looking band I’ve ever seen. Except possibly the Dolls.
Deb: They had a bigger effect on me. It’s just my style of playing. A lot of that stuff is similar to what I’m used to playing.
Rudi: Oh, they’re starting the guitar soundcheck. Talk to you later. [He leaves]

Fuzztones, Deb O'Nail, Irving Plaza
(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

FFanzeen: Nancy wanted to know, where do you get your mini-skirts?
Deb: That’s my secret. I do a lot of thrift shopping out of town, and then I just convert them. Sew them to fit me.

FFanzeen: What are some of your pre-Tina Peel bands?
Deb: Not too many. The original Tina Peel, I joined when I just turned 19. I sang lead in a band when I was 16 that did, like, David Bowie (d. 2016) covers, along with Lou Reed (d. 2013) and Roxy Music, too. Just a bunch of high school kids. I can’t even remember what the name was. Then I sang lead for another band when I got out of high school. We did a lot of Patti Smith and Who. We played only two gigs, so we never really had a name. We played a wedding and a show in a huge warehouse that someone rented out for a party. That’s pretty much it.
Deb: Will you be doing more singing in The Fuzztones?
Deb: Yeah, we’re looking for some songs for me right now. Our material is kind of heavy. And I don’t have a raspy voice. I sang lead in a country band, The Dognapers. But it wasn’t strict country; it was old country swing, like Patsy Cline (d. 1963) and Hank Williams (d. 1953). I love old country music. I was brought up in the sticks. I’m looking forward to singing. I always wanted to sing in the band.

FFanzeen: Who are some of your other influences?
Deb: Nancy Sinatra in her (The)Wild Angels (1966) period, definitely. Cher. I’m thinking of dying my hair black. I think it’s time to make the change. A lot of guys influenced me. I was brought up with all men around me. The very first rock’n’roll record song I ever heard was a 45 called “Bop-a-Lina” (Ronnie Self). When I was a kid I was into Alice Cooper. I do like a lot of gore and shock.

FFanzeen: I really like the way you dress now, but I also really liked the dots and stripes of Tina Peel, which was sort of gore and shock.
Deb: We were into, like, Op-art. We wanted to come across as some crazed ‘60s Op-art freak-out show.

FFanzeen: And now you dress basically in black.
Deb: Yeah, I’m trying to get away from that. I’d like to combine some black with something triptych. Triptych and tripped out.

FFanzeen: Whom do you consider the coolest dressers of the ‘60s?
Deb: Nancy Sinatra, definitely. I think Cher. I dug the way Cher could be so casual in corduroys and go-go boots. Her beginning period was very cool. Sean Bonniwell (of the Music Machine). That’s why I’m into black now.

FFanzeen: But no leather glove
Deb: No leather glove. Just cool medallions.

FFanzeen: Do you ever get any mash notes?
Deb: No. One time I got a really cool little poem from some guy. He actually jumped up on the stage and put a little poem on my organ. And it had something to do with “flowers and love” and “sending me on to future highs, and “pushing too hard.” He had all these different short things in it. That’s the closest I’ve gotten, as far as mash notes go. Oh, they’re calling me for my soundcheck.

[After the soundcheck with Rudi]

FFanzeen: When you put out Extra Kicks, was it sold, or just given to critics?
Rudi: Actually, we did it as a Christmas present for our friends.

FFanzeen: Why did you spell the name as Teen Appeal on it?
Rudi: This guy, a fan, gave us 300 tee-shirts with it spelled that way. And I thought, since the band has already broken up and we already have these tee-shirts to promote the Extra Kicks cassette, why not spell it that way? Maybe people would get it then. We sold it through the mail. It got reviewed in about four or five places. I don’t have any more. Actually, if The Fuzztones get really big and there was some interest in Tina Peel, I’d like to put out an album. Midnight Records, who put out our new album (Leave Your Mind at Home), I’m going to try and see if I can get them to release a Tina Peel album. We have enough material, and no one’s ever going to hear it because you can’t get the 45s anymore. I’m proud of it. I thought we were one of the most clever bands that ever was. And definitely one of the most hated. You have to be doing something right to be that hated.

FFanzeen: You do all the band’s art. Which do you prefer, music or art?
Rudi: Music, probably. I had always anticipated an art career. I went to art school. I got into a band at the same time and had to stop art school in the middle because we got six hours of homework a night, and I couldn’t do it because I spent all night working with the band. I didn’t do my homework, so they kicked me out of art school. The York Academy of Art, in York, Pennsylvania. I’ll go back. I never dropped it. I do the art for the band and for other people. I’m doing the Garage Sale cassette cover for Jeff Tamarkin (for ROIR Tapes).

FFanzeen: Do you do all the jacket designs?
Rudi: I do most of them. One of our roadies does some. I did the ones with the drums. That’s my logo. He’s more into EC Comics. He likes dripping skulls and maggoty brains. You’d be surprised how many people are coming to shows that I see walking around in our   jackets. I see logos and I didn’t do them. They do their own.

FFanzeen: What about your heavy metal band, Vulcan Death Grip? Are you still doing that?
Rudi: Yeah. That’s me, Ira, Ann Magnuson, and Randy Pratt [bassist of Cactus – RBF, 2023]. Randy used to be our bass player in the early days, then he went into heavy metal. Ann was actually on the Extra Kicks tapes. She and Wendy Wild [of Pulsallama, and The Mad Violets; d. 1996 – RBF, 2023] sang back-up on “Exception to the Ruler.” We’ve worked out this thing that is a parody of heavy metal. It’s just for fun – and a lot of money. We usually make more than The Fuzztones. But it’s just for fun and we’ll continue doing it as long as it doesn’t interfere with this band.

Fuzztones, Irving Plaza
(ffoto by Robert Barry Francos)

FFanzeen: It’s real hard to categorize The Fuzztones. Where do you think you fit in?
Rudi: I think we have a ‘50s rock’n’roll attitude, a ‘60s garage band influence in dress and in general minimalism; we use entirely authentic instrument because I think the coolest guitar sound is a Vox or a riff through an old Fender or an old Vox. And then from the ‘70s, really trashing rock’n’roll bands like the Dolls, Stooges, and the MC5, and that’s where our energy comes from. And all this comes out in our music. Music is always going to be an extension of what you are, unless you’re some plastic jerk like in a techno-synth band and you’re just doing it for a living.

FFanzeen: What about a Fuzztones tour?
Rudi: We’re working on a tour of California and possibly England. This is it for me. This is the last band I’ll ever form, ‘cause this is the music I want to play. After that, like, maybe I’ll move to New Orleans and play Blues in somebody else’s band or something, ‘cause I’m into that, too. This is my dream come true, what I’ve been waiting for since I was 15 and Rigor Mortis was playing. I’m really proud of it. I think I’m playing with the best rock’n’roll musicians in New York. Everybody’s like a gang, sticking together and hanging tough. We still have a long way to go.

Some of what Rudi said at the end, about The Fuzztones being his last band, has somewhat held true, though I’m willing to guess not how he imagined it back then. In 1987, Deb would acrimoniously leave the band, and Rudi would move first to Los Angeles and then to Germany to reform the band as its only original member. The Fuzztones still record from there, its latest being the ironically named NYC in 2020, and keeps a wide fan base as one of the few remaining garage revival bands of notoriety.