PIGSHIT: Diary of a Loved One, 1982: Life in a Rock’n’Roll Band [1983]

Text by Gary Pig Gold / FFanzeen, 1983 / 2021
Images from the Internet

PIGSHIT: Diary of a Loved One, 1982: Life in a Rock’n’Roll Band

This article was originally published in FFanzeen, issue #10, dated 1983. It was written by columnist Gary Pig Gold.

Gary is one of my favorite rock historian writers. I became familiar with him from his originally Mississauga, Ontario-based fanzine, The Pig Paper. His column and blog are still active after all these years. I’ve seen him play a few times, including with the Dave Rave Conspiracy and in the alt country Ghost Rockets, but unfortunately, never with the Loved Ones, who achieved cult status. Gary has lived in a few places both in the States and in Canada, and it’s important to know that he is a huge Beach Boys aficionado. – RBF, 2021

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Pig_Gold
www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Writer/gary-pig-gold 
 

Jan. 1: No New Year’s Eve party for The Loved Ones (to play at, either!), but was 1981 really worth ushering out, anyway?

Jan. 4: “Bubbles” (possibly not her real name), a gurl with a fake Australian accent I met at the Plimsouls’ Xmas party, calls to say she’d happily pose n-u-d-e for the Pig Paper. Time for my fanzine to go color/glossy/fold-out?

Jan. 16: I guess not. Pig Paper 14 covertly photocopied overnight in the Redondo Beach offices of American Container Corp., and if the Xeroxer hadn’t kept jamming up, I could’ve had this latest ish On the Streets of L.A. tomorrow morning!

Dennis Wilson and Gary Pig Gold

Jan. 25: Remember Gary Usher (“In My Room,” “Sacramento,” “How to Stuff a Wild Bikini” (et. al)? He was actually interested in producing The Loved Ones – till he discovered our publishing wasn’t up for grabs. “I’m not hungry anymore, y’know,” Gary [d. 1990] informs me today. Huh?

Feb. 7: Ronnie Furness, an old ex-Loved One, called all the way from Tahsis, British Columbia (big lumber town where he’s now employed) to confirm the rumors he’s heard that I’m not a coke addict. No, I’m not, even though I now live in Southern California. (I ate a slew of hash brownies once though, whilst watching Ride the Wild Surf on Channel 11…).

Feb. 11: My pal, Johnny Wonderful, of local Stray Cat copy-cat combo the Debonairs, calls to say yes – he can get an interview with the Blasters for Pig Paper 15.

Feb. 22: Murray the K dies and the Blasters sign to Warner Bros. Interview still on, however, sez Johnny.

Feb. 26: Tonight, Pig Productions was to present the Crowd’s gala Farewell Show at the Belmont Shores Lion Club, but a rival promoter (disguised as a not-so-mild-mannered reporter from the Cal State Long Beach newspaper) kindly informed the Powers That Be that the Crowd were, quote, “The West Coast’s most dreaded punk rock band.” Consequently, Pig Productions (along with 450 impatient ticket holders, not to mention the Crowd) arrive at the Lions club to find a sign reading Show Cancelled: Go Home! nailed across the doorway. Pig Productions immediately retires from the concert promotion business and changes its PO Box and phone numbers.

Issue 14

Mar. 3: After months of postal undercover work, I succeed in tracking down notorious pal o’ John’n’Yoko, David The Pope Smokes Dope Peel [d. 2017], yet he refuses to author a regular Pig Paper column.

Mar. 12: Desperate for a way to take their act on the road and get it together, The Loved Ones covertly set up their equipment in an empty second-storey classroom at nearby Cal State Long Beach, draw a crowd of three, open up all the windows, play a 14-minute set, and spend the remainder of the night in the campus jail. Blasters interview still on though, sez Johnny W.

Apr. 30: The Blasters’ manager, Celia, sends me a letter which reads, in part, “As for the Pig Paper 15 interview, frankly, I doubt it. The timing is not right. Like most Americans, the Blasters like to have some time just of relax.” Interview still on, however, insists Johnny.

May 5: I read somewhere that Gary Lewis and the Playboys recently reformed (who hasn’t?) and are recording a comeback LP (who isn’t?) so, ever the hit hunter, I visit their publisher with a cassette-full of my most rocked-up originals, versions of Goffin [d. 2014] and King (or at least Kooper and Russell) dancing in my head. “These originals aren’t rocked up enough,” the publisher quickly informs me as I’m shown the door, bus fare already in hand.

May 6: Undaunted, I begin writing and recording the latest Loved Ones demo-tape.

May 13: A gigantic Blasters interview is just published in the latest issue of L.A. Weekly magazine.

May 24: Lester Bangs dies and the Blasters leave for a European tour of indefinite length. Interview may not now occur, confesses Johnny not-so-Wonderful-anymore.

Jun. 19: Loved Ones demo-tape hand delivered to local “New Wave” station KNAC-FM. Airplay refused: “These songs aren’t rocked-up enough,” the program director quickly informs me as I’m shown the door, etc.

Jun. 20: Undaunted, I begin work remixing the Loved Ones’ demos. This time removing the Dolby noise reduction unit and boosting all levels well into the red.

Jul. 14: New and improved Loved Ones demo-tape hand-delivered to legendary Surf City face-about-town Rodney Bingenheimer, who quickly refuses to give it airplay on hiss legendary Pasadena radio show because, “This tape’s rocked-up too much.” Thoroughly daunted, I start becoming a coke addict.

Jul. 15: I find myself near Hollywood and Vine, attending two tapings of the Merv Griffin Show. I also find myself being forcibly ejected from the theater shortly thereafterwards, after heckling Moon Zappa as she lip-syncs to “Valley Girl.” This is particularly embarrassing as tonight’s guest host is my long-time idol, Dick Clark [d. 2012].

Jul. 20: My roommate moves out on me.

Jul. 21: My rent is raised.

Jul. 23: The Loved Ones play Our First Party Gig! and steal an amp from our opening act by way of payment.

Aug. 6: Veteran Pig Paper fan Greg Shaw [d. 2004] writes to say he luvs the Loved Ones’ demo-tape, even though, quote, “The songs sound too much like Gary Lewis and the Playboys.”

Aug. 8: Pig Picks to Click, 1982, No. 1: Saw a great band playing in the middle of the Seventh Street Recreational Park this afternoon – The Falling Idols. Remember: You Read It First in FFanzeen.

Aug. 14: The Loved Ones play Our Second Party Gig!, ‘way the way 100 miles south in San Diego. Between sets, I drive farther south to Tijuana, Mexico for dinner, and bring home a mucho case of food poisoning.

Aug. 24: The Loved Ones play Our First Club Gig!, opening for the Cat Burglars (the who?) at the Concert Factory (the what?) and earn Our First Paycheck! ($14).

Sep. 2: The Loved Ones play Our Second Club Gig! at the Concert Factory, opening for the Lucky Strikes (the who?) and The Jets (ditto) and earn Our Second Paycheck! ($14 in change).

Sep. 10: I begin work for The New Music Review in order to supplement my paychecks, and discover amongst my first pile of vinyl to review, Pig Picks to Click, 1982, No. 2: Six and Six and Later On, by the ultra-ESP Records-sounding Jandek (available from Corwood Industries, PO Box 15375, Houston, Texas 77020). Buy These Albums! [Ed. Note: That address is still viable, or you can contact Corwood online HERE – RBF, 2021.) 

Sept. 17: The Loved Ones play Our Third – and Biggest – Gig! to date: opening for the Suburban Lawns at the prestigious Radio City club. We are not paid but do not notice.

Sep. 30: A pretty gigantic Blasters interview is just published in the latest issue of Flipside magazine. I wonder whatever became of Johnny Wonderful?

Oct 7: The Concert Factory requests further Loved Ones bookings. Fearful of being thrust into too high of a tax bracket, I decline.

Oct. 21: I receive a letter from Robert Barry FFrancos, which reads, in part, “As far as your column goes, fer sher, send it along anytime. If you want, write something about “Life in a Rock’n’Roll Band” or some (Pig)Shit like that.”