DVD Review: Faces of Schlock

Text © Richard Gary/FFanzeen, 2010
Images from the Internet

Faces of Schlock
Various directors
Independent Entertainment, 2009
~90 minutes, USD $14.95
Alternativecinema.com
Freakproductions.net
MVDvisual.com

Grossly speaking (pun unintended), independent cinema is usually represented in three genres: first is the documentary, and these are usually high class and low cost (e.g., Michael Moore’s stuff, and so many others worth watching); second is comedy, and those are usually Porky’s level fart jokes and mostly a waste of time; and lastly is horror, which runs from astoundingly good (e.g., The Evil Dead series, Re-Animator) to just plain unwatchable (too many to mention).

However, I would rather watch the horror indies more often than the majors, because the larger studios have so much to lose and tend to take themselves waaaay too seriously, whereas the indies tend to have a clear head about who they are and what they are doing. Usually their products are done on the fly, with limited budgets and effects that are more wha? than whoa! (if I am making any sense at all).

The plurality of this release’s title is reflected in the four short films that make up the bulk of the DVD, organized by Henrique Couto. All the directors, producers, and other cast / staff either share each other’s services, or are friends.

First up is “Blood Witch” (written and directed by Andrew Shearer), which I believe is the most nuanced of the four pieces, as far as characters are concerned. Essentially a witch is murdered centuries ago in Spain, and now she has been called back by a goth Satanist-wannabe / sadist-lite who doesn’t truly know what she is doing. The moral question of who of many of the characters are actually evil (including a telemarketer) is a key element here. Countess Samela (referred in the bonus material as “Sam”; this is her only credit on IMDB) plays the wannabe with a churlish grin, even as she is bathing. Monica Puller, as the title character Isabella (other credits include Satan’s House of Yoga, Cannibal Sisters, and Psycho Vixens), plays her role with just the right touch of pathos. The gore effects are effective and not overdone, and the writing is in Twilight Zone morality story mode. A quick shout out to a great nom de acting, Priscilla Lee Press-On; yes, that is her name, not the character.

The second short is “Mike Wuz Here” (produced, edited and directed by Justin Channell), about a not-too-bright ghost named Mike (T.J. Rogers, whose credits include Die and Let Live - that is not a typo) who is haunting the cinema where he was fired, and then hanged himself. The slacker staff know him both when he was a person, and now as a ghost. A new manager is hired (after Mike’s spirit did away with the old one), who is put in charge of this bunch of losers. He decides that he wants Mike out because he is scaring off patrons, hence the theater is losing money. When he tries to “fire” Mike, the spirit enters his body and he starts to do away with the other staff members who agreed he – as a ghost – should be let go. A bit gruesome, of course, but more funny (intentionally) than anything else, such as one usher being tortured by being forced to watch Step Up 3 (his comments are hilarious). This short definitely has its fine moments.

The third was my least favorite of the four, “One Foot in the Grave” (directed by Chris LaMartina), about a dancer played by Sara Cole (other credits are Dead Hunt and Almost Invisible), who loses her foot due to a doctor’s negligence. She seeks revenge via the local witchy woman, Virginia Frank (credits include Grave Mistake), who is actually in cahoots with the slimy doctor (no secret there), portrayed by George Stover (whose awesome credits include a number of early John Water’s films, as well as the likes of Attack of the ’60 Centerfolds, Sleepy Hollow High and Ninjas vs. Vampires). To show you the level of writing here, the foot doctor’s name is – wait for it – Dr. Sholes. Yep, it’s that desperate.

The main tale is saved for last, which is “Slay Ride” (produced and directed by Henrique Couto, who put the whole collection together). The central character, as a spoiled goth girl, is DVD covergirl Ruby LaRocca (who has an impressive list of over 50 credits in 10 years, including Satan’s School for Lust, Spiderbabe, Dr. Horror’s Erotic House of Idiots, Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet, An Erotic Werewolf in London, The Lord of the G-String: The Femaleship of the String, Batbabe: The Dark Nightie, and, well you get the idea). She’s the kind who pierces her nipples without anesthetic (we get to see that, even though it’s an effect), while her parents are walking out the door for the weekend. Seems, of course, there’s a killer on the loose, ready to strike her and/or her hyper schoolmate, Debbie (Sandy Behre; only credit). Could it be the guy with the chainsaw next door (a fine turn by the director)? Santa? Who knows, though I figured it out somewhere along the way. Nice effects here, and as with just about the entire film, done with appliances rather than CGI.

And then there is the wraparounds, presented with glee by the hostess with the fangs, Slutpira, a really nice turn by Izzie Harlow, who jumps in and out of character a la Uncle Floyd, to make comments like, “Oh great, another title that’s a pun.” Despite the lengthy fangs they give her, she manages to talk normally, and has a really fine sense of timing. I looked forward to her bits of intro and outro of the short films. Kudos.

There are a lot of bonus features, some good, some whatever. The commentary track is cool, because each segment has its own director, writer, actor, whomever, including the wrap-arounds, so we hear from the – err – minds of each creator on their own pieces. Nice touch. The outtakes and bloopers were mostly fun, though some went on too long, and the music video was, well, tiring. The two clips that seemed way too long were of the premiere night (including lots of footage of “the gang” hanging out and getting drunk before, and hanging around in the lobby of the theater (the one from “Mike Wuz Here”) before and after the showing. There is also a looooong bit revolving around a horror convention that seemed to never end and have no point other than for them to have yet another reason to get drunk.

So skipping most of the extras, I would say this meets the indie needs of a low budget, DIY horror comp, and I actually look forward to seeing more of their work.

DVD reviews: Zombie Twosome

Text © Robert Barry Francos/FFanzeen, 2010
Images from the Internet

Aaah! Zombies!! (aka Wasting Away)
Directed by Mattahew Kohnen
Level 33 Entertainment / Wasted Pictures, 2007 / 2010
90 minutes, USD $16.95
Level33entertainment.com
MVDvisual.com

Zombie comedies are not new. They go back at least as far as Bob Hope’s The Ghost Breakers in 1940; but that’s voodoo kind. For the modern take, there’s, for example, Shaun of the Dead, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. (which had zilch to do with C.H.U.D.), and Return of the Living Dead II. And now…

Actually, this is sort of a zombified zombie tale. It was originally released in 2007 as Wasting Away, and was resurrected from the dead shelf this year as Aaah! Zombies!!. Considering the number of indie awards its won at horror film festivals, I’m surprised it isn’t better known.

Most zombie comedies are dead on arrival (sorry), but this one actually had me laughing at more than a few moments. Though there are holes here and there (including in a number of bodies), generally this is a well thought out, written, and acted film.

The basic premise is borrowed from some of the other films, such as C.H.U.D. II’s premise of trying to build the super-solider, and Return of the Living Dead II’s errant barrels of toxic waste accidently being ingested. Even with that, the level of originality here is enough to more than bolster the plot.

There’s four friends (not sure if they’re supposed to be teens or young twenties), three whom work in a bowling alley, and their ever-hungry-for-weird-food friend who hangs around with them. They all have a bit of slacker in them, in varying ranges. After managing to ingest some of the toxic green goo via a beer and soft ice cream concoction, they are off after they’re off’d.

Here’s where the originality kicks in full strength. Part of the film is in black and white (except for the green stuff), which indicates real life and how everybody else sees the typical George Romeo slow-moving, groaning creatures. But then there are the parts in color, which is how the zombies see us and each other, that is to say, normally. To them, they feel, talk, and walk normal, but others see them as drooling cadaverous beings. The image flips back and forth, with people seeing decaying corpses walking around in B&W, and they’re just living their lives while being totally incomprehensible to only themselves (and any others infected).

It’s taken a step further, which I believe is quite smart: zombies are slow and lumbering, and can’t be understood, so it is put into play that uninfected people are shot in fast-motion, indicating normal brain function instead of the slower creatures, so the zombies can’t understand them, and they can’t understand the zombies – with the exception of drunks, who can both be understood and make out what is being said, as alcohol slows the brain, or zombies who drink coffee to speed them up can communicate with the uninfected.

The zombies are strong (unlike Romero’s) if not fast, so they find themselves killing uninfecteds in self-defense, or just doing a “Lenny” and not realizing how strong they actually are. Please note that two brains get eaten, but in the least gory (though definitely yecky) ways. In fact, there really isn’t a whole lot of gore, though there is some blood (mostly on clothing).

Obviously, the goo is doing something to their brains, because they don’t really seem to get upset when a body part is disconnected, or when relatives perish; though they do seem to care about each other, which is touching.

The cast is good, filled with professional actors who seem to be doing a lot of work on television shows as regulars and guest appearances on the (Law and Order types, for example. One of the four leads is Betsy Beutler, who played Katie on Scrubs, Joanie on The Black Donnellys, and Son of Sam victim Stacy Moskowitz (someone I actually knew) in the series The Bronx is Burning. Here she plays perky very well, in a sort of cheerleader kind of way, while working the hell out of her very expressive facial muscles. Her boy-next-door-potential-boyfriend is portrayed by Michael Grant Terry, who portrayed Wendell on Bones. His goofiness comes across as charming rather than annoying, a fine line that is appreciated, and he makes a good pair with Beutler.

Julianna Robinson plays the other female lead, a more cynical, ambitious type who is hoping to get out of the local slacker scene. Having also appeared as the reporter in a bunch of McBride telefilms, she depicts snarky well, again without losing any of the character’s likeability. Her foil is embodied by Matthew Davis, who has had a successful recent career as Josh in Damages and Alaric in The Vampire Diaries. His character is the type who is usually played by the Ryan Reynolds or Jack Black type actor, being the charming adult child who rises to the occasion when needed, and uses the word "awesome" way too much. As with the rest of the foursome, he remains charming throughout, and comes across with some solid laughs. Also, he gathers the most CGI effects.

There are a couple of name character actors here that if you don’t recognize the name, you certainly would the face. His hard-edged solider who guides the two couples through what is happening to them (albeit misinformed), is a turn done well, if a little over the top, by Colby French; he was Hank on the first season of Heroes. An evil general is done to a turn by Richard Riehle. He has over 230 credits in both television and films (as of this writing, 11 are in post-production), such as Walt on Grounded For Life, along with semi-regular roles in a number of Star Trek spin-offs. Last of note, is one of my favorite underrated character actors who has a cameo, Tracy Walter, a man from New Jersey who almost always plays redneck southerners. Though he has over 150 credits, including Angel in Nash Bridges, for me some of his special work was in the “Mummy Daddy” episode of Amazing Stories, the philosopher of Repo Man (who give the best speech – about UFOs – while burning clothes), and though I thought the series was only fair, I still think of as “Frog” in Best of the West. But I’m digressing here.

Anyway, this is a straight-out funny flick, and I’m happy to recommend this for Saturday movie night. It’s got balls; bowling balls, that is, and it’s a strike!



Zombie Christ
Directed by Bill Zebub
Bill Zebub Productions, 2010
90 minutes, USD $14.95
Billzebub.com
MVDvisual.com

In part, what makes the shot-on-video Zombie Christ interesting is not just their own label of “The Most Blasphemous Story Ever Told,” but the sheer audacity and goofiness of it.

Perhaps it is because I am not a Christian that I am not riled by this, but neither am I a Death Metal fan, as obviously is the diminutive and cleverly named director Bill Zebub. His film credits include the documentaries Death Metal: Are We Watching You Die, Metal Retardation, Black Metal: The Documentary, and the fictional Metalheads: The Good, the Bad, and the Evil, Assmonster: The Making of a Horror Movie, The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made, and the equally noxiously named Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist (many of these trailers – and more – appear on this DVD as bonuses).

For the purposes of this film, Jesus is resurrected by some Druids (before the film starts) and he (I will use the smaller case “he” for this review) is looking for his descendants via Mary, who had two of his children according to this plot. The term zombie here is used more classically as the walking dead rather than the modern flesh-eating ghouls. Zombie Jesus eats the souls of the (nearly exclusively naked) women of his bloodline.

What is disturbing is the way women are victimized throughout (though men are brutalized as well, but on a lesser scale). It seems everyone is heavily inked, metaled up (even Jesus as he appears in his own lifetime has a lip ball); however, the women are quite young and beautiful (and in at least one case, stoned out of her mind), but the men are middle aged, oftentimes bald with scraggly facial hair, and well, lets just say could use to shed a few.

This is part of why I stated that there are actually some amusing aspects of this purposefully offensive release. First of all, Zombie Jesus is a skeletal puppet with some meaty bits pasted on and a crown of thorns. There is no point where the skeleton moves in a natural way (i.e., no CGI or pixilation used), and the one special effect when he “walks” on water, the blue screen (green screen?) effect is laughable and out of scale. As the skeleton uses a chicken leg to perform a sex act, or his bony finger, if one can get past the screaming misogyny and “sacrilege,” it’s pretty damn droll in its own way.

There are also some noticeable question marks for me, such as a nun in full habit (at first) who is wearing moth-shaped designed underwear, black leather heels, and sporting a Brazilian wax. Also there are other plot holes, such as the role of the hero, who is he in relation to the story, and how did he get a list of who is in the bloodline? And the ending, well, it’s just ridiculous, but no more than anything else, so if you’ve put up a large enough suspension of disbelief to reach that point, it won’t matter. I laughed at parts.

One would think this film preaches Satanism; I’m not sure what Bill Zebub actually believes, despite his nom de cinema, but the message here is certainly questioning the Judeo-Christian belief system, claiming Christianity was created by the Romans (which seems unlikely to me as they persecuted the followers so harshly, as the Church would do unto others through the years), and that the story of Jesus is actually a retelling of the Dionysus myth (this is explained in detail, step-by-step, throughout the film by the male protagonist.

Now comes the dilemma… to recommend or not. Well, while I enjoyed some aspects of it for what it was, it was a bit too much in the W.A.V.E.-style S&M cinema for me (and no sign of Tina Krause) to really say a general “go see it.” It’s all up to you, now.


[Note that this film is not to be confused with another zombie Jesus film called THE Zombie Christ]

DVD Review: GG Allin & the AIDS Brigade, Live in Boston 1989

Text © Robert Barry Francos/FFanzeen, 2010
Images from the Internet

GG Allin & the AIDS Brigade, Live in Boston 1989
Directed by Merle Allin
MVD Visual, 2010
90 minutes, USD $19.95
GGAllin.com
MVDvisual.com

If you don’t know who GG Allin is, well, suffice to say that he is a cult hardcore musician who is simply without boundaries. He was as transgressive as he could be, with no fear of attacking his audience or injuring himself on stage. He made Johnny Rotten look like a nerd, Sid Viscous a schoolboy, Stiv Bators unassuming, and even Keith Moon appear sane. Ironically, his birth name was Jesus Christ Allin. He died of a drug overdose in New York City in June of 1993. I can’t imagine there is any way he could have lived much longer than that.

Back in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, I started receiving badly recorded demo cassette tapes from GG of his band the Jabbers, when he was living up in New England. I wasn’t quite sure what to think about the music, but the lyrics were blatantly offensive, and obviously meant to be. The songs were not juvenile, like another West Coast cult band, the Angry Samoans (who wrote about saving Hitler’s appendage, rhyming it under a rock; don’t get me wrong, they were a fun band), but rather they were well written, albeit much more angry and violent (yes, I still have them).

Before long, his then band, the Murder Junkies, were banned in many clubs, including their local big town, Boston. Under the name The AIDS Brigade, the band got themselves booked at the Middle East Café in the Boston suburb of Cambridge, and went down to the show dressed in drag, in which they also performed.

The first couple of tracks of the DVD are two sets of rehearsals, one being just GG and his brother Merle, who is also in the band, facing each other in chairs and playing guitars. The second part is a full band rehearsal for 19 minutes, and I must say it’s the best I’ve heard the band sound. They played decent music, for certain, which would deteriorate as the years went on. The last pre-show footage, which lasts a bit too long at 15 minutes, is the make-up application in a crowded room, presumably someone’s house. It’s pretty hard to follow who other than the band is there, and what is being done at any particular moment.

The show itself, on August 27, which is done in full New York Dolls style drag (GG was a big fan), is mounted on the small stage, with GG in the center. Sure they cover all his main songs, such as “Expose Yourselves to Kids,” and my fave of their tunes, “Bite It You Scum,” but it is actually starts relatively sedate. They sound like a great hardcore band, or even mid-‘70s New York Scene style, but as it goes on, GG lifts his skirt and pulls off his panties, exposing himself (as he’s wont to do), and even manages to throw himself on the ground a few times. As GG shows go, this is mild, but the music is the most upfront I’ve seen, and as a musical act, they were impressive, with biting lyrics (pun intended), and smart tunes.

Ah, but the DVD doesn’t end there, and here is where it gets a bit – err – twisted. But first a side-note: from late 1989 to 1991, GG was in prison on an assault charge, and something must have “broke” in there, because of what followed in his life, including extreme substance abuse and the disappearance of any kind of propriety in his performances. I am not sure if Andy Kaufman would applaud or be aghast.

There are two full gigs at over 40 minutes each, presented via a close single camera (by a very brave cameraperson) from May 26 in Seattle and May 27 in Portland, just one month before his death. What is shown is how far to the extreme he had achieved. He performs both gigs naked (with the exception of boots, dog collar and in the second show, gloves), rips up bibles and local newspapers and sets them on fire onstage (using mas lighter fluid), pees and defecates on the stage (and ingests both), sticks multiple items up his bum (including a turkey baster and the microphone), flings the mic stand into the audience, and he punches people and gets pummeled in return. By the end he is bloodied and covered in crap (literally). There is a barrier between the audience and the stage, and while no one in the crowd comes over to the band’s side, GG travels often into the spectators, in one case ripping the tee-shirt off of a woman, and varied times whacking other people on the side of the head if they venture too close.

In the Seattle show, he openly insults Nirvana and Pearl Jam right off. Considering the time period and the location, this took balls, which were right there. The sound was kind of muddy, unfortunately, and the lyrics were mostly impossible to make out (though thanks to the 1989 show, one could have an idea). GG doesn’t just roam the stage, he prowls it… he owns it. Often hitting his head repeatedly with the mic, he growls more than sings, and it’s pretty obvious he’s bloated and not in good health. The club, Under the Rail, first tries to turn off the electricity, and then when they realize that this may cause more trouble than not, it comes back on and the band continues to play, including “Kill the Police,” “I Live to Be Hated,” and “Highest Power.” When all the lights go out, the show ends; GG goes into the audience and starts a near riot when the scene ends.

The second is at The Roseland Theater, where many of the preamble antics continue. GG’s legs are black and blue (could be bruising, or perhaps from shooting up?). The sound is a lot clearer, but it doesn’t help that GG keeps breaking the mics, which are replaced quite often (by a club roadie who does not want to touch the feces covered contraption; at first he just drops it on the floor, but then he brings a towel to wipe it off). At one point, GG climbs up on a very tall bank of monitors, and starts pushing at a neon wall hanging, and you’re left to wonder if it will go crash (I’m not telling).

It’s these later shows that are more representative of his Hated in the Nation documentary, which is where most know him from. Tt’s definitely a self-destructive circus that has attracted fans the likes of World War IX’s Justin Melkmann and SQNS’s Tony Petrozza (who covers “Bite It You Scum”), and I’m certainly glad to have them, but it’s the 1989 Cambridge show that is the find for me, as I had not seen footage of the band from this period. I am pleased at just how good and catchy it is. One would hardly know it was the same band.

GG Allin is not an acquired taste: you either love it or you hate it, period. If you’re squeamish about bodily functions (or bodies, for that matter) in any kind of way, or find objectionable lyrics objectionable, needless to say, avoid this. But if you are a fan, you surely will not be disappointed. RIP, GG, and I hope you have found peace.

Bonus video (not from this DVD):

Richard Hell Speaks (NYC 1/5/77)

Interview text © 1976 by Bernie Kugel;
RBF intro © 2010 by Robert Barry Francos
Live photo © Robert Barry Francos
Other Images from the Internet

The following interview with Richard was originally published in Big Star magazine, issue #1, dated May 1977. It was conducted by Bernie Kugel, and reprinted here with his kind permission. I have left the text the way Bernie originally had it (cleaning up some typos kinds of things), changing only the way the names are presented in the Q&A (e.g., “Hell” rather than “R.H.”) for clarity. Text added by me in 2010 is in [brackets].

It was a different world back then. I was getting ready to go to Queens College, and Bernie had come back home to Brooklyn from Buffalo State. Via letter, Bernie had arranged to interview Richard Hell, with only the fine details left to be ironed out, such as where and when. Bernie had arranged for Richard to call him at his parent’s house, where he was staying.

I’m sure I don’t need to go into the history of Richard Hell, but leave it to say that between Television, the Heartbreakers, and the Void Oids, he was a key figure in the nascent New York scene in the mid- to late 1970s. Having been regularly going to see bands play since June of ’75, we had seen him a few times, both in the Heartbreakers and the Void Oids, and having just missed him in Television.

Meanwhile, in January of 1977, Bernie was pacing the Bensonhurst apartment, anxious about getting the call, as he had to be getting back to college in a couple of days. To calm down, we decided to go for a walk around the block. When we came back, his mom – a character in her own right – was sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed and just fuming. The conversation that followed went something like this:

Bernie: What happened?
Goldie: I don’t like your friends!
Bernie: What do you mean?
Goldie: One of your friends called, and he started cursing at me!
Bernie: [expletive deleted].

Bernie called Richard Hell back, believing the interview blown, but when Hell answered the phone, he was still laughing. From him, this was what transpired:

Goldie: [Picking up the phone] Hello?
Richard: Hello. Is Bernie there?
Goldie: Who’s calling?
Richard: Richard Hell.
Goldie: Hell?! You say “Hell” to someone’s mother you don’t even know!?!?

And then she hung up on him.

The next day (If I remember correctly), Bernie and I hopped on the subway and went down to the Lower East Side to find Hell’s apartment in Alphabet City. We got lost looking for the building numbers. Bernie called Hell from a pay phone from a grocery store across the street from some projects. Fortunately, we were only a few blocks away.

Hell’s apartment was stereotypical LES, with the bathtub in the kitchen doubling as the kitchen table. There were some guys (the band?) in the bedroom yakking away, and during the interview, every once in a while Hell would get up and go into the bathroom. Perhaps, our imagination of the why was stronger than the reality.

Hell was pleasant and open, and the interview went smoothly. I sat on a chair and watched it all transpire, thinking perhaps I should start my own fanzine. But this was Bernie’s interview… – RBF, 2010

Bernie Kugel: Why did you change your name [from Myers to Hell]?
Richard Hell: Well, me and Tom [Verlaine] both decided we were going to change our names because we felt we had such common names, and I chose mine because I thought that was the best, most accurate description of me at the time. I just felt like my life was hell. I thought I would just start my career off on the right step with absolute honestly, make it my name.

Bernie: I understand in the early days of Television, everyone was rolling on the floor while playing, and things like that.
Hell: Oh, yeah, it was extremely wild. And that’s the way I think rock and roll should be. I’m always trying to think of methods to make it more possible for that to happen. It’s hard for me ‘cause I have to stay on the mike and I’m playing bass with my hands so I can’t really stroll with it…

Bernie: Did you ever think of adding another bass player so you’d be freer?
Hell: I’ve thought of doing it. I’ve always had it in the back of my mind to find a bass player, but I like coming up with bass stuff I do, and the person I would have to have would have to do exactly what I told him and that would be boring for somebody. Or else it would have to be somebody who’s a better bass player than me but has the same kind of feel for what the bass lines should be. I mean, the reason I’d want to come up with the base line is not ‘cause I’m the best bass player, but just for the right kind of feel. If I could find someone who was a better bass player than me but had the same feel, that would be great. But I’m not actually actively searching for somebody, you know? But it would be nice if somebody turned up and I would like to experiment with it. I don’t even know whether I could feel right myself onstage doing a whole set without an instrument, but I would like to experiment a little. I did one song last time (at the Void Oid’s debut performance) without a bass…

Bernie: How did you get the name Void Oid?
Hell: Well, actually, I was searching and searching for a name. I had all the guys in the band [Ivan Julian (guitar); Robert Quine (guitar), Marc Bell (drum, who would later become a Ramone) - RBF] thinking all the time for a name and we had three of them, and none of them seemed right, and one day I remembered that word because I had made it up as the title of a book I had imagined writing at one time, and it was to be called The Void Oid [it would be released in 1996 – RBF], and I suddenly thought of it as a possibility for the name of the group, and all the guys in the band liked it, so…

Bernie: You think this band will last a long time?
Hell: Well, absolutely everything that this band has done has worked out better than my greatest expectations. This band will probably continue even after all the members are dead.

Bernie: Were you satisfied with the way the EP came out? [
Hell: Umm… yeah, I mean it wasn’t the same conditions that you have for making a record if it were really commercially competitive. It wasn’t meant to be and it couldn’t possibly have been able to compete on that level, but it was exactly what I wanted to do.

Bernie: What do you feel about kids all over the U.S.A. and Europe looking up to you as an idol?
Hell: That’s such a sweet question… I’m lucky if I get one letter a week that smells of perfume and has lipstick traces on it. I’m aiming for the big time, yeah, but that question’s a little premature…

Bernie: Do you think the Void Oids will someday go on television?
Hell: Any group would love to go on television. It’s the ideal kind of exposure… and of course the more control you have over the whole thing… anyone would want to do it.

Bernie: Do you think you’ll be doing this ten years from now?
Hell: Probably about 10 years, maybe. I would say it would probably last about that long.

Bernie: What do you think you’ll do then?
Hell: Millions of things I’d love to do; millions of other things I’d like to do… I’ll probably do them all at once. The more things you do at once, the better… there’s really a lot of time in the day when you think about it.

Bernie: Do you feel very influenced by movies in your songs?
Hell: I’m sure it has some effect just because I like movies so much and I go to them all a lot. I’m sure it effects it very deeply. One really cool thing about movies is that it exposes you to so many… if you’re living your own life and getting exposed to all the experiences you yourself have every week and then at the same time you go to four or five movies in that week, you’re like getting four or five other people’s experiences as well, with really strong impact on each one. The more impact the better. The better movies have the greater impact. You’re getting the biggest effect it has on your consciousness… it sort of increases your sophistication. That’s the effect it has on writing songs.

Bernie: Do you have favorite movies?
Hell: One of my very favorites is called Pickup on South Street (1953). Another one’s called Pierrot le fou (1965) and A Touch of Evil (1958), though I’ve seen it so many times already I can’t watch it anymore. That’s the top three.

Bernie: Did you wanna be in bands when you were a kid?
Hell: The two things I always wanted to be when I was a kid was a writer or an actor. And the thing that always grabbed my imagination the most was making great rock and roll, and being a big star out of it. But I never really thought it was possible because I didn’t seem to be in an environment where I could make it happen…

Bernie: Do you like performing? Do you enjoy it?
Hell: I really dread it when I think about having to do it, but when it comes to doing it, when I’m actually there and doing it, it’s not bad… it’s pleasant but I don’t wanna go overboard.

Bernie: Do you think recording is easier?
Hell: I think it’s a different thing altogether… maybe not that far apart. But when you’re tense on stage… like it’s real tiring when you’re mixing something ‘cause you have to concentrate so hard, but it’s really great to do because it’s so exciting.

Bernie: Do you foresee the band getting tighter and better as time goes on?
Hell: Oh yeah, I got a pretty good idea. We have a real tight and carefully put together repertoire right now, and we probably won’t add at the most a couple more song. We already have a few more songs that we can fit on an album. So I have a pretty good idea.

Bernie: Do you look forward to extensively touring?
Hell: I look forward to it and I do want to do it in the most comfortable way possible.

Bernie: Do you look back to one performance by this band or any previous band, and say that that’s the best performance you ever did?
Hell: Well, definitely, the last gig I played with this band… it had some very dynamic moments.

Bernie: Do you have a favorite New York band?
Hell: I really don’t… What the best of the New York bands are doing is definitely the most exciting thing happening in rock and roll in the world, and I think that’s self-evident; I think that’s obvious. I think it’s as any of the other historical developments in rock and roll that have gone on in the past.

Bernie: Do you have a favorite band of all time?
Hell: No, because there are too many. I have records going all day long. When you’re really immersed in something… I mean I could tell you my favorite movies because I’m not a filmmaker, but the only way you could do that would be to write down all the records here.

[I won’t do that, but here’s a few: Pinups - Bowie; Between the Buttons - Rolling Stones; Let’s Stick Together - Bryan Ferry; The Thirteenth Floor Elevators’ first album, etc., etc. – Berne]

Bernie: Do you like the way your life’s gone up to now?
Hell: I think I’ve gotten a lot of good breaks. I think I’ve gotten overwhelmingly good breaks, and they seem to get better. I just hope it keeps up.

Bernie: Is there any trouble or friction in this band?
Hell: Oh, no, and that’s such a relief after so much of that thing in the past. There’s absolutely none of it here. Ya know, we’re all each others’ best friends. It’s like perfect.

Bernie: What do you think you’ll be doing fifty or so years from now?
Hell: I don’t think the world will last that long. I don’t wanna say that… I want do everything I can. Vote for me.

THE SKELS with a Live CHEETAH (CHROME)

Text by Julia Masi, 1982
Introductory text by Robert Barry Francos, 2010
© By FFanzeen
Images from the Internet

The following article/interview with The Skels was originally published in FFanzeen magazine, issue #9, in 1982. It was conducted and written by Julia Masi, and I was also present for the rehearsal, interview and brief photoshoot on St. Mark’s Place, though my memory of the whole experience is kind of weak.

Bassist Gerry Lambe (not to be confused with the British musician of the Skunks) died around 1986 after a long career on the New York scene. Cheetah Chrome, infamous for so many reasons, including his tenure with the Dead Boys, now has a powerful new autobiography out called A Dead Boy’s Tale, which had been reviewed last month in this blog (ffanzeen.blogspot.com/2010/09/book-review-dead-boys-tale-by-cheetah.html). In the book, there is little mention of the Skels, so here is my contribution to honor the history of Cheetah. – RBF, 2010

In a dark, musty studio on West 27th Street, Cheetah Chrome and his band, the Skels – Gerry Lambe, bass, and Jeff Miller, drums – are absorbed in practice for an upcoming gig in Baltimore. Almost oblivious to an audience of two jaded rock’n’roll journalists, the Skels seem every bit as intense, polished, and energetic in rehearsal as they do in actual performance.

But the band isn’t satisfied. In unison, they interrupt the flow of smooth-sounding “Sonic Reducer,” crack a few jokes, tune their guitars, pinpoint their problem and try it again. A series of similar stops and starts punctuate the rehearsal, magnifying the camaraderie, seriousness and sweat that make the Skels one of the tightest new trios in New York.

All three have been in bands before: Cheetah, who started out in his native Detroit with Frankenstein, and Rocket From the Tombs, reaches his peak of success with the Dead Boys in the late ‘70s; Jeff’s been a studio musician here and abroad, as well as playing with bands like Wayne County & the Electric Chairs, and the Fast; and Gerry’s a veteran of the local scene, most recently with Disgrace. From their combined experience, they know what it takes to make or break a band, and the Skels is where they put their knowledge to the test.

“Three creative people all working together. That’s a band. That’s this band, at least,” said Cheetah. “It’s a real exclusive club. The only way anybody’s gonna join is if they are brought in by another member of the band. It’s like the Guardian Angels. You’ve gotta be sponsored.” They frequently kick around the idea of having another member, but at this point it’s not in their immediate plans. “I’ve decided it’s a five piece band, ‘cause me and the drummer are both skitz,” Cheetah quipped. “Before this band started, before I had these two buys, it was a four piece or a three piece, depending on who showed up for the gig. It became a big pain in the ass for me to do a three piece. I had to sing, play guitar, dance around and balance an egg on my heard or something. It got to feel like I was doing too much work. With these guys, they’re so solid; I can play whenever I want to.

“Before I was playing in a trio that should have been a four piece. Now, I’m playing with a trio. Another guitar would be nice, but at the same time it isn’t necessary. And I like the extra bread!”

“Three piece, if you screw up it’s more evident. But four piece, it’s sloppier,” noted Jeff. “To me, it’s convenient. We only have one guy doing his job. If we have another player, what am I gonna tell him about lead guitar? What is he gonna tell me about drums? And vice versa. We each do our own thing. He can hear, obviously, if all of a sudden I screw up and I play in 7/8 when I’m supposed to be playing in 4/4.

“The thing that’s great about this group is that nobody’s retarded. Like in almost every group I’ve played there’s always been one guy you had to drag along. It’s like, ‘Duh, what do I play here?’ And you have to do [he imitates a guitar] do-do-do. ‘Oh, yeah, right. That riff.’ But everybody knows what the hell they’re doing. Like he’ll [Cheetah] start a song and we’ll come in.”

“I think the band falls into different categories,” explains Gerry. “We could do a bill with somebody like Iggy Pop and be compatible. We have the same raw energy he has. Whereas we can also do gigs with a band like the Stray Cats. ‘Federal Case’ and ‘I Don’t Know’ are basic 12 bar rock’n’roll. Or we could open for a heavy metal band.”

But the only type of music that they all feel they are incompatible with is hardcore punk. Jeff feels “a responsibility” to his audience because he knows that “there are young drummers in the audience. I don’t want them to see us and go back and pick up sloppy habits. What will it be in a year? Hardcore will be dead and we’ll have another trend. Why can’t we just have bands anymore?”

“It’s real weird ‘cause I’m the oldest in the band; I’m 27,” said Cheetah. “And when I was with the Dead Boys, I met Jeff. He was just this young whipper-snapper. He’s two years younger than me. I watched Jeff grow from this kid form Queens who used to come to our gigs and playin’ with the Fast and the Dictators, and playin’ with Wayne (County) and watchin’ him develop. And Gerry, the Dead Boys were to Gerry like the Stooges were to me: somebody to identify with. It’s great because I’m playin’ with two people that I’ve influenced, in a way.

“I met a little kid who came up to me and said, ‘I learned to play guitar to your records.’ It makes me feel good that somebody sat down with my records and took the time to learn. ‘Sonic Reducer’ is a standard for bar bands to cover. The Bad Brains, I think, said in their press kit, that the band was formed after one of the members listened to a Dead Boys album. To me that’s mission accomplished.

“Right now, we’re gonna do our gigs with the set we’ve got, but we’ll enlarge the band every time. We’ll add a couple of new tunes. With these guys, I really find myself trying to develop more as a guitar player and extending myself more, which is something I haven’t done. I haven’t felt such a creative outburst like this (before)!”

As the band evolves, they intend to get Gerry up to the mic to sing. “Yeah, let it be said,” commented Jeff, “that our bass player can sing very, very well. He just doesn’t want to.”

“If Gerry would just get off his ass…’ nagged Cheetah in feigned annoyance, “I’d get a break. This guy can sing the ‘Hippy Hippy Shake’ real good, but he won’t do it. You know why? ‘Cause he’s shy.” Although the brown-eyed bass player didn’t seem the least bit shy during this interview, he still won’t sing no matter how much this reporter begged.

“Eventually Gerry is gonna sing,” Cheetah confirmed. “It’s a fact of life he’ll just have to deal with. During the set we’ll time it so that he does the song and I’ll take a break and just play guitar. I’d like to do some instrumentals.” He also intends to incorporate more of Jeff and Gerry’s songs, which are heavily influenced by the ‘60s and rhythm & blues, into their act.

“We’re looking forward to gettin’ into that,” Cheetah noted, “but right now the main thing was to get a set down that we could stand by.

“As soon as we got this band together, all of a sudden it just clicked. And I just said, ‘Let’s get to work.’ The creative spark is there. If I don’t have a part for a song, these guys will come up with it. We don’t just rehearse together and let things happen. We talk about it. I didn’t want back-up musicians. I had that. That’s why it’s just ‘The Skels.’ Right now, it’s ‘The Skels featuring Cheetah Chrome,’ but that’s only so everybody knows what the name of my new band is. Eventually, I don’t see why it can’t be the Skels featuring all three of us.”

“We wanna be one of the top new groups,” admitted Jeff. “The problem in New York is that nobody wants to forget. I used to like the Dead Boys, but we’re not trying to be the Dead Boys. We’re not tryin’ to be anybody but the Skels.

“And there’s another thing that Cheetah pointed out at the first gig we did. He gave a rap about how there are a lot of hardcore band out there, bands that are going back to punk and ska, everything but good rock’n’roll bands. That speech was really weird, but it means something.”

What it means is that there is a rock’n’roll audience ready and waiting for the Skels, as they found out when they played Baltimore. Despite all their anxiety over a slightly imperfect rehearsal, the gig came off without a hitch and the crowd loved them.

About Baltimore, Cheetah remarked, “The band was incredible. They just kept me going. They just fired me up. It was the best gig I had since the Dead Boys. I got this rush, and I just started sweatin’. I can always tell how good a gig is by how much I sweat.”

Who the hell...

Text and photos (c) Robert Barry Francos

Back in the 1980s, I went to a conference to promote the USO in New York's Times Square, filled with musicians and radio DJs from big '70s arena bands, most of whom I just don't care about... so all these years later, I have no idea who most of them are. Can people please resond and let me know who they are and what bands they were from? I think there are some members of Kansas and the like. Eagles? Not a clue.

The only ones I do know are Stephen Stills, and Cheap Trick members Robin Zander, Rick Nielsen, and Bun E. Carlos. When I get everyone's names, I'll put up more of the photos. Thanks for your help, everyone!

Picture 1
Back left to right: ?, ?, ?
Front: ?, ?, ?

Picture 2
Back (left to right): ?, Robin Zander (Cheap Trick), ?
Front: ?, Steve Walsh (Kansas), Phil Ehart (Kansas), ?


Picture 3
Back (left to right): ?, ?, ?
Front: Bun E. Carlos (Cheap Trick), Stephen Stills (CSNY, etc.), Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick)

DVD Review: “Johnny Winter: Live Through the ‘80s”

Text © Robert Barry Francos/FFanzeen, 2010
Images from the Internet

Johnny Winter: Live Through the ‘80s
2010
114 minutes, USD $19.95
Johnnywinter.net
MVDvisual.com

When one thinks of effective white blues guitarists, mostly Brits seem to come to mind, like Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck. But Americans have their own share, such as the late Stevie Ray Vaughn, Mike Bloomfield, and Johnny Winter.

Johnny Winter is iconic. Texas bred, his long, straight white hair from albinism, tattoos from before they were passé, tall and lanky frame, and his headstockless Lazer guitar (which shows up early on in this collection), are all part and parcel of this artiste.

While he dabbled some in rock and roll, and even occasionally displays a tinge of country, such as on “Please Come Home for Christmas,” Winter is a blues man. He plays electric so he is often lumped into the Chicago school, but he actually plays both Northern and Delta picking style.

There are some quick interview bits here and there on this DVD, where he blithely discusses his love of the blues, but the core here is the music. Taken from a number of different sources from the five years 1983-1988, the songs are complete, even the longer ones where he gets into the groove and just gets his mojo working.

As the DVD starts, it’s Johnny and his ace bassist/harp player, Jon Paris - complete with ‘80s killer sideburns and ‘fro - who play off each other magnificently through all the songs (they played together from 1979 to 1989). In a few solos, Paris shows that his bass playing is strong, as is his harmonica, so he makes a fine foil for Winter.

In the first grouping of four songs from Massey Hall in Toronto (or Trono, as they pronounce it there), Bobby Torello plays drums. While he is an exceptional drummer, he is a bit out of place as he obviously is playing rock style, stepping all over the groove. After this show, Tom Compton joins the trio in his place. He is definitely better suited, and gets to show off some of his chops towards the end of the DVD.

The Massey Hall show is kind of visually fuzzy (from a videotape, as there are occasional short interviews edited in between a few songs), but the sound is sharp. As usual, most of the material is covers of older tunes, but he ends with a bluesy Bobby Womack song, “It’s All Over Now,” which the Rolling Stones also covered in ’64.

This brings us to the second set, which was filmed at the Roskide Festival in Denmark in front of a huge audience (reminiscent of all the “Aid” shows from the period). It opens with another Stones’ related song, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” There is also adapted versions of Dylan’s “Highway 61” and Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode.” It’s here the Lazer shows up, as Winter spins and twirls. He’s shirtless after the second song, as he often is, showing off his skinny, pale, and hawk-like frame – and yet his Stetson never is removed, as will remain true through the shows. Interestingly, being Denmark, there are plenty of people in the audience that are as blond(e) as him, and with some exceptions, these shots show many people not really paying attention to the music at hand. The evidence of this is the end of the set, where something is seen hitting Winter on the chest. He unstraps his guitar, says bitingly into the mic, “I bring you music and you throw things. Great.” Then he storms off the stage. As Paris leaves, he says (and apparently sincerely), “Good night! Thank you!” I could just imagine the conversation between the two backstage: “Why would you say thank you?!?!” I found the whole walking out thing very amusing, in hindsight.

The next set is from a British telly show with a remote in-studio introduction by the great Dave Edmunds, but the music plays out at the Capitol Theater in Passaic, NJ. The two cuts are typical of his style, from the solid “Mad Dog” and then shifting to the slow burner, “When You’ve Got a Good Friend.”

The video production from the Casbah in Nashua, NH, looks like it was probably in-house: it shakes and zooms about too earnestly to be professional, but the sound remains clear. “Lights Out” is a raver, reminiscent of “Black Sox” in classic I-IV-V style. As I mentioned above, Charles Brown’s “Please Come Home for Christmas” is a blues number, but Winter does it Texas-style, with a country flavor.

In 1984, Winter signed to Alligator Records, a great blues label, and they released a music video for “Don’t Take Advantage of Me.” The song is wonderful in a Bonnie Raitt sort of production of the period, but the video is, well, just terrible. It’s sexist against both genders: it shows women being abused (including Nora Dunn, just before she was on SNL!), and men being mean, stupid and macho (there’s a redundancy for ya); and it ends with Winter “tattooing” women with identical Texas Rose tattoos that he has on his arm, in a symbol of ownership. Yuck. This is quickly followed with a brief EPK (electronic press kit) video of him sitting in a directors-style chair and talking about the blues, tattoos and drugs.

Then, back to the music. In a television studio setting in Bromma, Sweden, is an incredibly well mixed two-song set of “Sound the Bell” and “Mojo Boogie.” All the instruments are clear, and it’s one of my favorite moments on the entire DVD, as Winter prowls the stage, hovering over his Lazer like a predator bird.

The last two songs, shot on the Piazza Duomo in Pistoia, Italy, has the murkiest visual here (my guess is probably due to a transfer from PAL rather than too many generations), but probably shows off the trio at their finest, with two looooooong pieces, a version of “Early in the Morning” and the guitar grinding “Serious As a Heart Attack.” “Early” features major solos for both Paris and Compton, but the fretwork of Winter stands out the most.

Winter knows his stuff. He is precise, with fast hands, and keeps a melody and rhythm going without giving up any quality or direction. Usually long guitar solos bore the crap out of me (one of the many reasons I fell in love with the Ramones), but even in the extended songs, I never felt the desire to skip ahead.

There is a Johnny Winter: Live Through the ‘70s, which I have not seen, but it was the 1980s when Johnny Winter was at his prime, and this DVD is a great collection of those moments when he was simply on fire.

Oh, and just for the hell of it: Edgar.

From Massey Hall with the wrong drummer: